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It is normal to get stressed about repetitive actions that barely seem to add value. It is imperative to make efforts to change the situation in whatever way possible, in case that is not happening, then resort to ‘unconditional acceptance’.


Unconditional Acceptance emerges from a space of love and power and can completely melt the stress away.

Let me give you an example. You drive every day to work during peak hours, and what usually would take you 10 minutes, now takes you 2 hours.

You have left no stone unturned to change your situation but simply must continue. What do you??


Ask yourself the 5 whys –
Why am I doing what I am doing?

 By the time you reach your last why, you will see that you are doing it for the love of someone or something. You will see a higher purpose or value guiding this action, such as love for your family, the kind of work you do, a neighborhood that cultivates excellence and so on. Once you see it, you will realize a deeper meaning for yourself and choose to be cool and composed!

There are two types of people in the world.

Those who take complete responsibility for everything that happens to them and those who take responsibility only for the goodstuff.

Who is really responsible when you are glad, sad, bad or mad?

Neuroscience, NLP and our own experiences teach us that ‘I am fully responsible for my own thoughts, feelings and actions’, i.e. these are the only things that I have full control over. Consequentially, I am responsible for what I am going through and also for everything that happens to me.

But why must I understand this? Not because I want to go on a guilt trip but because taking complete responsibility for your emotions and feelings is the first and only way to begin managing them.

If you point fingers at others for the way you feel, you will create a greater sense of helplessness and will never be able to manage your mental state.

A fearful Shifu approaches his master in KungfuPanda, saying he has ‘bad news’.

His master responds with deep wisdom, ‘Shifu, there is only news, there is no good or bad news’!

Events are powerless and lifeless, it is the way we interpret them that gives them life. Good and Bad are ‘perceptions’ that we create!

The moment we divorce judging events and happenings as good or bad, we free ourselves from biases, stereotypes and limitations and enter the realm
of pure ‘possibilities’!


ShowerofPower: Contemplate this thought as you begin your day –
“I understand that change is the only certain thing, and I will approach it with complete acceptance today.
I may not understand the reason behind the change immediately, but I know that, sooner or later, the light will shine and I will understand the reason for the happening.
I will choose to suspend judging events and give the benefit of the doubt to ‘time’.
In other words, I choose to be wise today’!

Age-old wisdom tells us that attachment is the root of all miseries. Additionally, when we are attached to something, our perception gets affected and clarity gets lost.
Not a very useful thing to carry at work.
 

As an experiment, investigate and surprise yourself with the things that you are attached to. The usual suspects may range from your name, title, company, possessions, ideas, reputation and the list goes on. In fact, the list usually increases as the days go by.

In a recent workshop, a team constructed the tallest tower using paper. One of the participants got offended when we cleared and binned the tower towards the end of the workshop. It took them 20 minutes to build, using paper, she had her selfie taken, and now it was time to say goodbye, but she simply did not feel okay that it was binned.

Imagine how easy it can be to get attached to things that ‘I’ create, which happens so very often.

One big attachment is ‘I am right’, and ‘You are wrong’. Am sure that by now you would have realized that attachment is definitely different from love because there is no room for ‘I’ in true love.

When the pain of attachment gets too much, what people do is they withdraw and step away, abandoning the thing that triggers this pain, believing that they are detaching from it……however, doing so is not detaching but abandoning that thing or person.

The rightstrategy must be to stay connected and close enough to influence and #, but far enough to retain perspective and clarity. That is true detachment.

Absolve the stronghold of “I” and you absolve attachment!

When we get a statement of this kind from our client, what is the first question that we respond with?

“Why?”

“But why would you do this?” 😖

This is quite a poor question to ask because it makes the client justify their decision, drawing out many reasons which were perhaps quite insignificant till now; the why question digs them deeper into their position.

A much better question is a ‘How’ or a “What” question, as they are more ‘solution focused’ than a why question which is ‘problem’ focused. The How may be stated as….”That’s tough to hear. We’ve certainly taken our eyes off the ball somewhere and we’re ready to address that. How can we have a chance to turn things around and avoid a pitch from others?” 😎

As Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung put it, “To ask the right question is already half the solution to a problem.”

So instead of asking why something isn’t working or happening, start asking how it can be improved and what you can do better the next time.

My neighbour once complained that my nephew had a fight with his friend over who should bat first, instead of asking him why he fought, I simply asked “what are better ways to resolve the conflict without fighting?” This sent his mind into a whole new direction.

What do you think are other situations where a ‘why’ will not work?

I find it truly fascinating when I can smoothly slide across from one end of the street to another, maintaining perfect balance.

balance is truly blissful, and the beauty of it is that we are responsible to create it.

Stressed or Overexcited?

Not good places to be for too long. Here are four simple yet profound words that will restore balance – ‘thistooshallpass.

Nature means change and change means nonpermanence.

Once we understand this and consciously bring to mind these four words during extreme situations, we remain humble during the highs and hopeful during the lows.

Next time you get that brand new sofa set, remember, TTSP, so you’re well prepared not to beat up your puppy for feasting on that soft and chewy material.

Most of us relish the goodtimes and detest the tough…so much so that we burn ourselves out to ensure we are ‘over protected’. It is always a good thing to take caution and prepare, however, we must come to terms with the fact that regardless of our efforts, we will be subject to tough times. The good news is that tough times make us tough.

tolerance, perseverance, determination, patience, humility are some virtues that grow and get strengthened in these times, resulting in making us complete.

If it was not for the tough times, I would never have used these virtues and hence be an ‘underdeveloped’ midget.

Understand the benefits of the tough times and you will learn to accept them with a smile and take charge of your stress and anxiety.