leadership

We have all been in situations where we feel compelled to respond, where the noise, the interruptions, or the lack of respect in a room make us want to raise our voices and assert control.

But….

What if, instead of raising our voices, we raised the quality of our words?

Recently, during a training session I was leading, I found myself facing an unusual amount of disturbance. Participants were distracted, conversations overlapped, and even the event sponsors contributed to the disruption. More than once, I felt the urge to intervene sharply and call out the disrespect. But just as I was about to do so, a powerful thought crossed my mind:

“If you can’t keep your words sweet, keep your words.”

This simple yet profound idea shifted my entire approach…

Instead of reacting immediately, I chose to wait for the break.

During that time, I approached one of the most disruptive participants for a one-on-one conversation. Instead of simply pointing out the interruptions, I started by acknowledging what they had done well. I sincerely appreciated how some of their contributions had helped others grasp key concepts.

And then, honestly but without harshness, I expressed what had been challenging about their behaviour.

What happened next was remarkable.

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A noticeable shift took place not just in the participant’s behavior but in the entire room’s energy. From that moment onward, they were more engaged, more respectful, and more in sync with the session.

Why Words Matter More Than Volume

This experience reinforced something essential:

When frustration builds up, we have two choices—

1. Let emotions take over and speak on our behalf, often with words that may be regrettable.
2. Consciously refine our communication, ensuring that our words remain constructive, no matter the situation.

The easiest path is to react, but the most effective path is to reflect.

When we respond with composure and clarity instead of anger, we don’t just manage a situation; we elevate it.

The Power of Raising Words, Not Volume

Harsh words may force compliance, but thoughtful words create commitment. There is a big difference between someone reluctantly cooperating and someone genuinely aligning with your message. True influence does not come from overpowering others but from inspiring them to listen.

If a moment tempts you to respond with frustration, pause and ask:

 • Am I speaking, or is my emotion speaking for me?

 • Is my communication being driven by reaction or by intention?

 • How can I raise my words instead of my volume?

In the end, communication is not just about what we say…

It is about the environment we create!

By choosing words that uplift rather than tear down, we not only enhance our impact but also cultivate a space where respect, collaboration, and meaningful dialogue thrive.

So, the next time you find yourself in a challenging conversation, remember:

If you can’t keep your words sweet, keep your words. Because silence in wisdom is always louder than words spoken in anger.

16. Lately, I’ve been failing!

Not dramatically…but in quiet, personal ways: missed targets, stalled approvals, lost deals.

And every time, the inner critic pipes up: “Maybe you’re just not good enough.”


A recent one hit hard.

We worked closely with a client for weeks.
Meetings, revisions, full commitment.
Then…
Just like that…they chose someone else!

No explanation.
I was gutted!

But as the dust settled, a better question emerged…

What is this failure trying to teach me?

The answer
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That I showed up. I tried. I cared.
And that matters more than the outcome.

Failure, I’ve realised, is feedback.

It’s proof I’m in motion. Not stuck. Not hiding behind comfort zones.

But evolving…boldly, consciously.


So I’ve stopped asking, “How successful am I?”

Now I ask, “How bravely did I fail today?”
Because failure means I’m doing work that matters.

And that, to me, is the real success!