The difference between a downward and upward spiral is simply shifting from ‘why’ to ‘wow’.

During my visits to a business school in Mumbai, whenever possible, I opt to travel overnight by train as it gives me good space to contemplate, relax and rejuvenate.

During one of my recent travels, just above the place where I was lying, was the A/C vent. It was noisy and blowing quite hard leaving me literally frozen and feeling uncomfortable.

It did not take time for my thoughts to spiral downwards like…
why did I get this seat…
why can’t the railway authorities pay more attention to these details…
I will spoil my health if I continue this way…
I should never travel via train anymore…

I was almost ready to seal the deal and make a firm commitment to call it quits when I caught myself asking an innocuous question…

Prakash, did you have any pleasantmoments during this journey?

In a flash came the voice of the lady who earlier was sat next to me, the brilliance and respect with which she conversed with her 5-year-old boy; my surprising success in dissuading myself from drinking coke (which I love to consume with salted peanuts during my travels) without any feeling of ‘deprivation’, and many other pleasant things that happened that I had taken forgranted and overlooked.

It was a moment of epiphany for me as I experienced a complete psychological and physiological shift from a victim to a victor…
from a state of feeling impoverished and helpless to feeling enriched and empowered…

The best part is this shift took less than a second…a mere inquiry into ‘what went well’, and I was instantly ‘beamed up’!

What is the practical application of this?

There is a certain comfort that I get into where I take for granted people and things for. I fail to recognize their value, lose gratitude and begin undermining my fortune.

Researchers from Harvard Business School, Boston University and MIT found that the more we get to know others, the less we like them (Less is More: The lure of ambiguity or why familiarity breeds contempt). Over time, the law of diminishing marginal utility kicks in.
 
Here are a few things we can do when we find ourselves stuck in this downward spiral, be it with my boss, my spouse, my work environment, company, colleagues, or my gym instructor:

1. Prioritize: My state of mind matters most. By seeing what is right with the world and being grateful, I am not doing anyone else a favour. I am doing it because I care for my well-being.

2. Mastery: I realize that I have the power to choose my thoughts and hence to manage my feelings. I choose to be a master of my feelings rather than a victim.

3. Shift paradigm: Our vision controls our perception and our perception becomes our reality.

Therefore, embrace the ‘wow’ moments, and watch how your reality transforms with a sense of mastery and empowerment!